Once upon a time, I was determined to fix myself. I’ve been always a seeker of consciousness, a little wacky weirdo, who couldn’t really fit anywhere on this planet. I started recognizing that my way of thinking and perceiving this world was totally different from the people around me. So I started thinking there must be something wrong with me, how can I be making so many mistakes?
I can assure you that I tried to fit, I really did! The more I tried to fit the more unhappy and destructive I became and for a long time I felt so wrong and so alone.!
I tried so hard that I convinced myself that if I could just get happy and accept everything as it was everything would be ok, if I could just find what was wrong with me and fix it, everything will be ok, if I could just hang in there, divorcing every single part of me, thinking that if I healed what was clearly broken within me then I would be happy and everyone around me will be as well.
I was devoted to yoga, cleansing, meditation, insatiable learning,
I was determined to get to clear, pure, clean and enlightened.
Many of this things had a positive effect in my life, it made a difference in some ways, but I was still running in circles, fixing this wrongness of me became a never ending process and I was looping in a maze.
‘What if there is nothing wrong with you?’ ‘What if there never has been anything wrong with you?’ ‘What if you’re not nearly as f**ked up as you think you are?’
Do you realize that all the “wrongness” that you feel about yourself is coming from the beliefs, perceptions & points of view of the people who have surrounded you throughout your life? The teacher who told you that you were a bad kid for being so energetic, the mother who told you that it was wrong to be curious, that it was wrong to express your thoughts, wrong to talk, wrong to play, wrong to go out…what was meant to be spiritual and what wasn’t, what was meant to love God or what didn’t, even who was God and his beliefs! what we are meant to be and do here on this planet as if life is some kind of prescription you need to follow. All from thousands of millions of points of view that people took from somebody else’s points of view that you believed as true and you took it so personal that you thought you had no choice but to finally believe the “wrongness of you” because you know you don’t fit there.
How many things are you willing to cut out of your life to fit into the beliefs of people?
What happens to your value when you build your life around the perception that others have about your choices in life?
What if there is a way to stop trying to fit into everyone’s point of view, and experience the greatness of who you really are?